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Renaming America
Written by Rubén Rumbaut and
Luis E. Rumbaut to The Los Angeles Times, June 7, 1998
To the editor of The Los Angeles
(The Angels) Times:
As immigrants now residing on the East Coast, we await with heightened
anticipation the inevitable arrival of local versions of Proposition
227, recently passed by the prescient voters of California to do
away with bilingual education. We never got any of that bilingual
coddling when we came here as kids, so everyone else might as well
go through what we did, much as fraternity hazing rituals are handed
down through the years. In fact, in the spirit of better citizenship,
we urge Californians concerned with the insidious effects on children
of public exposure to a Babel of non-English tongues to go a logical
step further with a Prop 227(b) to really drive home the point that
the foundation of civics and national unity is English Only. For
history has burdened California with what is likely the largest
concentration in the U.S. of unpatriotic names, and that could send
bilingual kids a wrong and confusing signal. Get out the maps, Californians,
roll up your sleeves, and let’s get to work.
We hereby propose renaming into English, within one year of the
passage of Prop 227, all of the places in California that are now
provocatively named in foreign languages, particularly that all-too-common
Spanish, all the way from The Jewel (misspelled “La Jolla”
as it is), Hidden (Escondido), Big Box (El Cajón) and Saucy
Sight (Chula Vista), to Old Mission (“Mission Old Man,”
if you want to get technical) and St. Anne, Green Sticks and the
port of St. Peter, proceeding up to Oaks Pass (Paso Robles), Mount
King, and along the coast through beautiful Big South to Tall Stick
(Palo Alto). There would be new Butterfly, Skulls, and Feathers
Counties (Mariposa, Calaveras, and Plumas), to name a few. As a
cost-effective move we can leave the old Catholic saints, so long
as they are given their linguistically correct names—St. Ferdinand
Valley, Bishop St. Louis, St. Bernard, St. Joseph and St. Francis—while
the name of the capital can become The Sacrament, keeping Holy Cross
company. Special anglicization efforts will be required for East
The Angels, of course, but that’s just for starters. “California”
itself will have to go, along with truly foreign names like Yosemite,
Mojave, Sequoia, Ahwahmee, and Tekachapi, although we are at present
unable to translate those names and will have to find someone who
is, well, bilingual, in the appropriate tongues.
The work involved would be well worth the effort. What passes in
California usually goes nationwide a short time later, so imagine
the useful work that lies ahead! The Renaming of America (a name
that is itself of impure origins) will require the earnest efforts
of all concerned citizens, from Alabama to Wyoming. Amarillo, Baton
Rouge, Chicago, Corpus Christi, Des Moines, Detroit, El Paso, Honolulu,
Miami, Milwaukee, San Antonio, Santa Fé, Seattle, Tallahassee,
Valdez, Weehawken and Wichita, here we come!
—Rubén G. & Luis E.
—(Reuben & Louis) Rumbaut
—New York City and Washington,
D.C.
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